Oh my god, the Eatsdropper is my mother!

Hey, remember these? I can't believe it's been over four months since I've published an Eatsdropper. So long has it been, that I've managed to stockpile a bunch overheard just by yours truly, many from my now former place of work. I still have a few from others, but they'll have to wait for now -- hopefully not four more months.

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Coworker: "I fell asleep on the couch, wine in hand, and when I woke up I was all,oh my god I am my mother!"

- Eatsdropped at work

Penny: "What's wrong with my testes?"

- Eatsdropped at Contigo

Coworker: "That onion needs more flair."

- Eatsdropped at work

Guy on corner, talking on phone: "I've turned into a fabulous gay man. I'm making quiche!"

- Eatsdropped at 26th and Noe Streets

Clerk, ringing up copious amounts of beer and chips: "Football party?"
Customer: "No, just the usual."

- Eatsdropped at BevMo