Dear Safeway

Get bent.

Today was meant to be the one-kajillionth time we've ordered groceries from you. We lovingly selected the items we needed, carefully checking the right options so we didn't get any surprise substitutions that make no sense to the sane and rational home economist. We even chose the one available time slot we could possibly accept, two days nigh: 5-7 pm Wednesday, September 6, which would still necessitate a certain amount of hightailing from the office early.

So why, exactly, did you think it appropriate to call us 30 minutes into the delivery window -- and not, say, anytime during the previous 48 hours -- to alert us that you were unable to find a driver and therefore were simply not going to fulfill your commitment to us, your misguidedly loyal customers?

Your slogan is "Ingredients for life." As you did not deliver the ingredients I so desperately need, do you want me to die? Is this what you want from me, Safeway?

Well that's just too darn bad. I will survive, Safeway, and I will survive without you. Your loss is Whole Foods' gain, and BiRite's, and dozens of other markets. Even Bell. *shudder*

So thanks, Safeway. Thanks for making me realize how little we need you, since you so obviously don't need us.